well, i heard by forcing a smoker to smoke triple the amount of cigarettes that he/she smokes, they might get disgusted enough to stop. thanks for the compliment on my poetry.

Kate, this is my advice.  Make sure that they know that you love and care for them, but don't back down.  You take care of yourself, and if this is a love relationship, and if it's this important to you, make a decison about how bad it is and how far you will go, and stick to it.  Be there for them, but romantically you might have to cut it off or distance yourself for a couple of reasons ... 1) you love them and you stick to your honesty ... keep the line drawn in the sand so they know there are real lines that are crossed in life.  They still need an example of a "real" relationship where things are kept real, no matter how they end.  2) you love yourself and don't let yourself get dragged-down or too adversely affected by their drug use.  Either way, you can still be their friend, caring for them.

If it's not a love relationship, the same rules apply, but it will be less of a controlling factor for you because of difference in relationship.

I might be way off base here, but I don't think I'm too far off.  Take care of them, but take care of yourself, too.  You need to be able to rely on you.

John G.

I know exactly how you feel. I have friends that do pot on occasion and it doesn't bother me, I just prefer not to be around. But in middle school I had a friend who got really addicted. It seemed inevitable with her family situation. I really broke my heart that I couldn't do anything about it. She ended up getting held back in 8th grade. That only made things worse. I did my best to be supportive of her. I invited her to do stuff with my "non-drug" friends, over for dinner, movies stuff to help her avoid what she was getting into. In the end we drifted apart, for more than just the drug reason. But the thing is we ended up graduating in the same class. She dropped her drug habits (with counseling, it was more than just pot) and is going to college.

I know she went through hard times and, in the end, I think the reason she survived was because of people who trusted in her power to make the right choices.

So yeah, it's not quite the most inspiring story but you sound closer to this person than I was to my own friend. All I can say is keep believing in them and supporting them. Their idea of the right choice will not always be yours but hopefully, eventually they will learn.
The only check on this is if the person starts doing things that threaten their life. Then that needs to be dealt with in other ways.
There are hotlines you can call for help on those more pressing issues.
Good luck
Peace
Kate

...you could tell them that if they get caught, they may have a problem travelling to the States...oh yeah, you are in the States...its nice to be reminded that there are some wholesome, caring people out there...

Hey, thanks for your comment. I will make some changes; I was thinking along the same lines of what you told me to do. Thanks again; hope to hear from you soon.

don't ever let them think that you are ok with it but make sure that they always know that you love them and that you are there for them, i'm having the same problem so other then that i'm helpless-Elly